Reader Comments

theessayservice writer on surrogacy

by Gloria Lapiz (2017-08-14)

I find the pearl-clutching and moralizing on this article downright cruel. In the name of abstract academic debate, busybody nonsense, and bleating about population, y'all are kicking grieving people when they are down. 
One out of eight couples experience infertility. It's an epidemic that no one talks about. It is traumatizing and the grief is relentless - in fact, studies show infertility is roughly as traumatic as cancer. The desire for a child is very real, and you can't really snap yourself out of it just because some random Internet blowhard thinks it "wasn't meant to be." 
My husband and I have struggled to conceive for five years, and there is no perfect answer for infertility. Every option has drawbacks. 
According to expert with, adoption is ludicrously expensive, and you run a significant risk of having your child taken back if the birth parents change their minds. Fostering is an even bigger risk. International adoption costs 50Kish and you don't know for sure if the child you adopt was given up willingly. 
If you're already grieving and traumatized by infertility, you may not have anything left in your tank for running that risk. So your other option is fertility treatment, which is physically and emotionally demanding, ludicrously expensive, and opens you up to all sorts of judgment about your "vanity." (Trust me, there is nothing "vain" about the injection welts on my butt or the invasive procedures or being just a number at a for-profit clinic. NOTHING. ) 
Fortunately, we will not need a surrogate, but we are using donor eggs (mine were damaged by endometriosis). Our donor has done it before, knows what she is getting into, is getting paid, has a medical background, and has a family member who conceived via donor. She isn't some young person being exploited for her fertility, too dumb to understand, and my husband and I are not monsters trying to build some high price designer Frankenbaby. The donor is giving us an amazing gift, and we are so grateful.